Hey, Mister, Don't I Know You?

I try to do a good deed every day, as a means of offsetting being evil and selfish the rest of the time. This one was easy. A couple of weeks ago I drove Mister from South L.A. shelter out to the Valley for Boxer Rescue L.A.

We knew he had some problems with his hips and knees and Boxer Rescue wanted to get another opinion. Thanks to volunteers Haze Lynn, Shana Kaplan and Shannon Haber, word got out and Elayne Boosler of Tails of Joy arranged for him to see a vet in Shadow Hills, which is right near where I work, though most of my friends ask, "What? Where? Is that even in L.A.?" (Yes, it is. Shadow Hills is part of Sun Valley, an intriguing mix of large horse properties and used auto parts shops.)

Mister (whose full name is Mister Dunlap) remembered me and was happy to see me when I came to pick him up for the appointment.

And here, in an email I received later, is what we learned:

TPLO in left knee and FHO in his right hip. His hip is completely dislocated so he compensated by putting all his weight on his other knee causing it to blow out.

The vet said that after these two surgeries he will be a HAPPY dog with years ahead of him! The doctor also noticed that he is really looking to bond with someone and was hoping she was his new mommy!!! (Sorry, Mister D., not your mommy yet, but we are looking for one!)

Please send DONATIONS of any size to
Take Me Home
2633 Lincoln Blvd. #207
Santa Monica Ca 90405
Put Mister on the check memo or, if cash, with a note... Will send you a tax receipt if you like... or for paypal visit www.takemehome.tv

As money is being raised, Mister Dunlap is in a foster home where he is being encouraged to put on some weight. There may be a few too many steps for him to climb there and another dog who's a bit too playful for him, but until a better foster situation or permanent home is found, Mister Dunlap will be summering in Venice, C.A.

And I'll be summering in front of the open door of my fridge in my un-air conditioned apartment in Hancock Park-Adjacent-Adjacent. I recently purchased these root beer floats in a bottle at Target, but I don't care for them. Come on over if you'd like one.

If I'm not here, then I'm out being evil and selfish.

SUNDAY IN THE PARK WITH DOGS

No animals to transport this weekend, so instead I helped out with a Mobile Pet Adoption at Moorpark Park. (Can you believe that name - it's like the auditorium from my high school in New Jersey, Halsey Hall.)

Thanks to the economy, foreclosures and the general irresponsibility of many pet owners, the shelters are jammed, with fifty or more new animals coming in every day. These MPAs allow potential adopters to interact with dogs from city shelters in a quieter, less overwhelming atmosphere and there are volunteers onhand already familiar with their personalities who can act as matchmakers. (Insert dating joke of your choice here.)

The more volunteers there are, the more dogs they can bring from the shelters, as each one requires a handler. I don't usually volunteer for this as my assigned dog never seems to get adopted and I feel like a failure watching him or her loaded back onto the truck at the end of the day, still homeless. Also, there are no public restrooms at this park and I refuse to use the one at the gas station.

But as a city employee, I was able to provide this rare valve/spigot/golden plumbing part:

While this may look like just a piece of pipe to you, it is in fact custom-made to prevent every random person entering the park from turning on the water during the current drought.

And what did we use this city water for? To wash some hot, dirty city shelter dogs. Other volunteers brought the pool, hose, towels and flea shampoo:

When I was in grad school in the 1980s, I went with a bunch of my friends to see Robert Klein perform in Alice Tully Hall at Lincoln Center. And then, in the early 1990s, I spotted him at the Rexall Drugs on the corner of Laurel Canyon and Ventura. He was at the check-out line.

I think he had a bottle of shampoo in his hand and I heard him say to the clerk, "Uh... this was on sale for $1.99."

I don't think Mr. Klein was purchasing flea shampoo, but I thought of him yesterday as we were only a few blocks from the old Rexall.

By the way, just a few years ago, I was answering phones for an hour at the offices of George Schlatter who was producing the American Comedy Awards. Robert Klein called and I told him I'd seen him at Alice Tully Hall, performing such classic routines as "I can't stop my leg," and then I told him about the Rexall sighting and how I'd more likely always remember him for the latter. He seemed pretty amused and we spoke for a while, which probably meant some other famous people's calls weren't getting through. Good thing I was there for only an hour.

Not a lot of foot traffic at the park yesterday and these two dogs below were among the lucky twelve who got adopted. Usually the number is closer to twenty. The others went back to the shelter, shiny and clean, hoping to be noticed by other adopters, before it's too late.

I'm one of the most boring people I know, but since I meet TV and movie stars all the time, a lot of my east coast friends think my life is fascinating.

But mostly I just hang out at home with these guys:

A 55-Pound Mango

When I got the email from Chela asking me to pick up a puppy named Mango on my way to work, I figured I'd get to use the cute little dog bed I just bought for $5 at a yard sale. Then I got the next email, which mentioned that this baby weighs 55 pounds.

But what a fabulous, sweet young dog he is! If it weren't for the unfortunate conical plastic fashion faux pas, this boy would have rested his head on my shoulder the entire time.





When I was 18 years old I temped for a very famous fashion designer, then an editor at Vogue. I'm hesitant to give her name. I'm still afraid of her. (Okay, rhymes with "Tang.") I lasted one day. Less than a day. At 4:30pm, when she was through yelling, "I'm going to be fired because of you!" Personnel offered to let me go home early and be reassigned to another magazine the next day. Still, I feel like I know her and should contact her about improving the aesthetics of this thing.





The GPS on my new cell phone works and I found myself driving around saying "thank you" to an appliance. The only glitch came when a driver in a pick-up truck tried to cut us off on the transition from the 5 to the 134. Mango sat up when I muttered (all right, all right, more than muttered) a nasty word, but when I raised my hand to lift a finger, he assumed I was just reaching back to pet him again.

The rest of the trip was uneventful and Mango is now with Laura of labsandbuddies.org, free from the shelter and off to a brighter future.

Hot Dogs

Nothing like driving around some dogs when the temperature tops 100 degrees. Nothing like the smell of my car when it's over 110 and you can tell I've driven some fifty or so dogs in the last year.

My first passenger of the week was a boxer mix named Mister. He's not a purebred, but he's boxer enough to have been taken in by Boxer Rescue of L.A.

I was told Mister had a hip injury and expected a weak dog I'd have to carry. Not so.

This guy was full of energy - or just joy to be out of the shelter - and jumped out of my car when we reached the vet's office, but he does need surgery. If you'd like to donate, please contact http://www.boxer-rescue-la.com/ and let them know your donation is for Mister. He is also in need of a foster home so he can recover in comfort. After that, he'll be available for adoption.

Later in the week it got even hotter, so I picked up these 7 puppies and their mom (no individual photos upon arrival, for fear they'd all melt in the sun) and delivered them to the fabulous labsandbuddies.org.

I wasn't supposed to drive any dogs today, but when a friend and I went out on an errand this morning, we found a stray. Fortunately, he had a tag with a phone number and we were able to send him home a few hours later. He was a very cute, freshly-groomed fluffy little thing, named Fluffy, perfectly trained except for the desire to go exploring a few miles.

No photo of Fluffy as I haven't yet figured out the camera on my new phone. Or for that matter, how to put the earpiece in so I can go hands-free on July 1st. I wonder how many accidents will be caused this summer by people trying to get their earpieces to work...

On Tuesday I'm transporting a 55-pound puppy. Sounds big. Pix to come...

Dear Abby

Sometimes there's a happy ending and thanks to rescuer Chela Landau, this dog got one.

Here's an excerpt from the original email I received:

Every week at adoptions, Abby gets so much love and attention. Little children are drawn to her sweet and happy face, people all smile when they see her, on the drive there she gently rests her head on my shoulder in silent joy and contentment ...and yet, at the end of the day she is bewildered that no one is taking her home and she just looks at me, I swear with tears in her eyes... "Was I not good enough?" She gets SO sad to have to go back to boarding. Her special person or family is out there... I just know they are! But when will the day come that she doesnt have to live in a cage?

Abby was an abused dog who never lost her trust in people or her hope that she would one day be loved. When the police came and took her out of her abusive home, Abby thought that her suffering was over. But then Abby spent a lonely year in a dark cage at the shelter while she was held as evidence. She dreamed every day and night that someone would come for her, take her into the sunshine and tell her that she was special.

Abby is the sweetest most affectionate and gentle dog in the world. She is great with children, and very mellow. Abby is about 7 years old, good with dogs...and searching for someone who will look into her heart, past her scarred face, and see the gentle beauty in her soul. She will be so grateful to the person who finally gives her a loving home.

I had the pleasure of driving Abby twice. The first time was to a vet's office to have her stitches removed after spaying. I was amazed by how calm and sweet she was. I think she didn't mind the procedure, she was just so happy for the attention.

More recently, I took her to meet Chela at a street fair adoption booth. To be honest, I didn't think this was the best venue. I didn't imagine anyone shopping for tchotchkes and kettle corn would be looking for a dog like this. Good thing no one asked me.

Parking in L.A. is awful even under the best circumstances and we had to park blocks away.

The walk took forever as Abby had to stop and smell EVERYTHING. It was hot out and she wore out before we got there, or maybe she just wasn't used to walking, having spent so much time in a cage. I put my arms under her front paws and around her belly and carried her for a few blocks. Everyone looked at us and laughed. I thought it was because of the awkward situation, but in hindsight, it's probably because she was smiling the whole time.

I dropped off Abby with Chela and left for my softball game. We lost but ABBY WON!

Sure enough, the perfect family found her and adopted her and as Chela wrote:

"She is sleeping in a home for the first time in her life."

Congrats to Abby and her new family and thank you, Chela, for making it happen for them.

Another Other Mindy

So growing up there was this girl named Mindy who lived on my block and there was always at least one Mindy at camp. Invariably, we'd end up designated as Mindy and Other Mindy. Guess which one I was.

And now, it's happened again. Back on March 14th, there were two dogs running loose on the grounds of the park where I work. Patrons complained - one actually blamed me - and it became my job to do something. After checking with rescuers, I got out leashes from my car, rounded them up and took them to a city shelter. Neither had ID or a microchip and as strays they'd be held for four days and then made available for adoption to the public.

I knew this guy would be adopted in a second.

And he was.

And I knew this sweet Pit Bull/Staffie/Whatever with mange didn't have a chance.

Two months later she was scheduled to be put down until rescuers stepped in, raised funds and she was saved. Here she is leaving the shelter, heading off to a training center:

She's an excellent student and as soon as her skin heals, she'll be ready for adoption.

If you live in the L.A. area and would like to meet her, contact: kinder4rescue@aol.com.

BTW, she never responded to the name she was given at the shelter, Honey.

More recently, at the training center, someone misread the paperwork which also had my name on it and they began calling her Mindy.

Which she responds to. Figures.

So I get this email last night...

Asking me if I can transport a dog from a city shelter to a rescuer.
Turns out the rescuer was right on my way to work.

Here's 5-month-old Chocolate in my car:

Battling the Incredible Hulk:

(Editors are working day and night to add

this scene to the movie in time for the premiere)

And meeting his rescuer, Laura:

Laura of labsandbuddies.org is great.

I've transported for other rescuers as well. Here are some recent passengers:

More to come and go to new homes...